tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398602275623792822024-03-12T16:54:25.186-07:00Somebody PAtch me thru to Moonbase 2Moonbase 2 is my blog .. because im just about done with myspaceAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-20602262727806398082009-07-13T12:32:00.000-07:002009-07-13T12:33:23.397-07:00episode 28: ive been to mushroom mountain, once or twice..im thinking and I seriously need to not only re-evaluate my behavior ( because ive been acting erratic like im under the influence) .<br /><br />I have my own set of problems and I do need an escape, badly. i could drop it all but i tried that several times and hence i am where I am today. constantly running away from and dodging my problems with sllick words and uncharacteristically cool mannerisms that are pretty much transparent. I'ts like im on drugs and my drug of choice isnt cocaine, it isnt meth, it isnt heroin, nor weed nor alcohol, my drug of choice is EGO. I started to fill my lack of accomplishments, or at least my lack of socially relevant accomplishments, then i moved on to more and more to substitute for confidence and strength. i chased the bittersweet potion with vivid imagination wich was really just a colorful way of saying Delusion. combine that with the ever present american dream of superiority and relevance and here you have a habitual Liar, caught between his need to be honest and real and his false definition of reality. I tried to mask it by saying " I killed Moses Jiggetts and only Moses Malloy stands" but really, Moses is Moses. and everybody else knew it but me. im so high on myself that detox is not an option, rehab is impossible and suicide.. heh im already dead to half of you , you just dont know how to word it because we are all so "grown" but alas we are but youth . I can ask for help, im perfectly capable of it but i always end up hinting at it and then denying it when I need it the most out of pride and fear. meeting that addict a few moments ago flipped a switch. I've been a sheep, a masochist sheep. creepy, addicted, conflicted<br /><br />and worst of all. aware.<br /><br />this note dosent have an instantly gratifying happy ending... at least not in the real world.<br />and the real world is where I tried to save all of you but not myself<br /><br />self imposed martyrdom is but an excuse for the arrogant weak sheep I have become. and when the man in the mirror no longer sees his true face, there is only one truth.<br />He's addicted.<br />I gotta get clean.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-37374292361266191872009-06-29T11:07:00.000-07:002009-07-13T12:51:17.318-07:00Episode 27: Cold beveragesa lot has happened since my last post. Micheal Jackson died, I got sick again, I swore off of superdope and off of one night stands becoming recurring morning fucks.<br /><br />in detail, aside from the mike dying .<br /><br />Superdope as some of you may know is a party that a close family member ( and my former DJ) throws. initially i was the host alongside another ally Fame. well long story short it ended up that though i was dedicated hosting and promoting with no mic at the time , known at the party and all that jazz, my role got wrapped up and handed to tuphace, another local rapper with a longer resume( and a former neighbor of mine, small hood) I got pushed back to mere freestyles and bullshit. I tried to enjoy it but theres so much else i could be doing other than watch a billion other cats get shoutouts and spotlighted while i chill and watch sports center cuz the drinks cost too much. ive decided to not go unless something of interest is happening or I have a date. other than that its boring. but best of luck to the new superdope crew.<br /><br />*radio edit*<br /><br />i really need to exhibit some self control in my life and all these people, these friends gone hollywood, these "grown" "young" women looking for a quick rush to complain about later<br /><br />oh god, I... I...I'm becoming fake. the man in the mirror and i need to talk, cuz I feel like a stranger in moscow.<br /><br /><br />i need a cold one .Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-4546635923611483492009-05-08T01:34:00.000-07:002009-05-08T01:41:00.993-07:00Everyone makes peace with their demonsbut Who can truly face their angels<br /><br />I Had a conversation with her today... a long one, a late one. We busted it up like we used to and she even fell asleep on the phone with me like she used to. for a while there, i dont know if i was losing sanity or simply reminiscing. oh well its over. back to reality, back to the 9 to 5 to 9 to 5<br /><br />courage. I needed it<br /> i have it<br /> it shows<br /><br />lets keep moving forward into the horizon.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-88133488950707377702009-04-15T12:28:00.000-07:002009-04-15T12:56:34.209-07:00episode 25: " you will live in happiness too... like the oompa loompa Doopadee doo!"So yeah.<br />i was asked not to contact someone<br />i honored that request ( like a little bitch i might add)<br />but as usual.. curiosity kills the cat and yeah...I really should watch what I say and for that matter to whom i say it to. I mean look at it like this, being my usual free wheelin self has lost me some Really good people because i Fail to see that confidentiality rarely ever goes both ways especially if youre the new guy . Call it a life lesson but ive had Several things come back to me on some he said she said ish.. and yeah.. I said I know i said though i may not remember in detail wich then gets thrown into the pile of me talkin wrecklessly when infact it could have been as small as me agreeing with something that i saw that somebody else brought up. since when does the hypeman get the credit for the diss yo... its cool though Ive learned some of my lesson. and I admit it'll take some time ( as if the 10 years before me ) to digest . this would be the point where i say if i could take it all back I would but ... nah because the other people involved would still be the same. <br />other people.. I put way too much on them. and it hurts me when they hurt themselves or other people or worse me.<br /><br />and who am i to try and right some other persons wrongs... why was it that when one of my musical aquaintences SCREWED OVER one of his most loyal and helpful friends , I was quick to jump in and try to save the world... Not one of those people would have done that for me they woulda both let me take my lumps like a grown up and then hit me with an "i told ya so" .<br /><br />I cant play the hero anymore because im increasingly becoming an annoyance or worse.. a villain<br />it sucks that i gotta step outta my fantasy world in order to grasp reality for what it is because i built this world that i live in to cope with the real world. but it's a change that i welcome with open arms , clean ears, and a bulletproof vest on.<br /><br />point blank If i ever spoke out of pocket concerning you... and yeah.. im talkin to you ...im sorry, it might not mean much to you but im sorry and hopefully we can at least shake hands on that note.<br /><br />and ...to that red-headed goddess somewhere north of here, its not the lies that caught up to me, its not this "passive -aggressive" standpoint that im charged with, but my own childish behavior that i've had trouble shaking. well I think i got a somewhat grip on it but too late to still get a minute of your time.<br /><br />I'll be happier next episode... I just had to get this off my chest in order to breathe rightAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-56103811010112947192009-04-15T12:17:00.000-07:002009-05-20T12:49:00.127-07:00episode 26:Title.. what titleSo Ive got a show on the day before my birthday. thought it would be the blowout of the year but nah.. its a short like 10 minute short jawn so im thinkin maybe a cover song will do.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-57907461718385019032009-04-05T04:48:00.000-07:002009-04-05T05:01:54.253-07:00episode 24: 400 dollars in the hole and i didnt even get a hooker.so i got burnt for a sampler over EBAY. fucking texas jerkoffs.<br />and i lost out on not one but 3( count em) 3 gigs this weekend<br /><br />gig one:<br />I run into the arcade( big mistake) and tony corners me, says his DJ cant make it till 2 and he needs someone to cover for his Party that he's holding at a reputable location. now i shoulda called bullshit right there and in any other case i would have, but this was an associate, a friend. Everybody knew the party was bogus but me. and in hindsight i shoulda got my dough upfront, but my policy is friends in need i dont ask for cash up front unless im missing out on another paying opportunity. long story short. 10 pm rolls around and tony is nowhere to be found. either he skated out or found another dj and just didnt call me to say so.<br /><br />gig 2: the bar called, no gig tonite... i honestly dont think they like me very much and for the price im getting paid there... not really worth it but theyre good people i guess. I'm gonna keep an ear out for other gigs. maybe start working with Dj no-chaser Fulltime.<br /><br />gig 3: speaking if No chaser, his big gig that was supposed to be my recurring money maker fell right on thru hard on its ass, so i spun at Phsh's place<br /><br />but as usual it was a short spin, just a set up , i got off , it was good. came home high and now im here, 400 in the hole. sheeyat.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-82700412645408812342009-03-18T15:20:00.000-07:002009-03-18T15:22:28.812-07:00Drop that chick, now roll with ityep.. got rid of her, oh well. send in the next jawn or bring back the ex jawn. I'd like another go at serena but nah.. lets keep it moving forward, i cant stop now, even if i dont know what im doing.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-51211122918922058542009-03-05T14:45:00.000-08:002009-03-05T14:58:59.593-08:00So my new girl got a tatoo on her backand it means Ninja. did i mention I'm dating again.<br /><br /><br />I hope nobody gets mad, I can think of 2 folks that might feel a little Raw about it, but its cool<br />at least she found me this time.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-90458141068385580752009-02-15T01:42:00.000-08:002009-02-16T00:36:35.569-08:00episode 22: what it is what it aint what it do2 weeks in my new home, no xbox, no tv, and i suck at ccp online... i cant seem to find the time. im not even all the way in here yet and im low on cash, bored( who knew sex was such a big chunk of my time) , and on this day after valentines day, im kinda kicking myself .. not over the girls that didnt want me, but the ones that did ( and i said no to) theres sharon and serena of course, dumped em and i could choke myself for it but im a better man for leaving both of those girls. theyre waaay better people now and that growth couldnt have come under my clingy egotistical shadow. theres !.. noo wait .. there was never , i was only fooling myself. hmm... oh wait.. nicole... yeh thats a case of " i dont think i can handle an older woman" i mean i was a bitter divorcee with a sex drive. if i had the chance, id opt to be friends with benefits and build from there but like all the others, its cool, best of luck to ya... cutie pie<br /><br /><br />next episode maybe ill dive into why im ending up the "woman" in the bedroom, and why that sexist statement is probably the only way to logically explain this phenomenon<br /><br /><br />ep:23.... aintshitpussy.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-62980158287810492412009-01-23T12:29:00.000-08:002009-01-23T12:34:14.577-08:00Still.. breakin spines in the 2-0-0-9YES BITCHES.. dont call it a comeback. Call it a ressurection. Im back at work, back in school and i have an apartment!! still single tho...BOOOAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-55011909306279349052008-12-24T18:54:00.000-08:002008-12-24T18:57:06.588-08:002008 FINAL!okay so unless something BIG happens, this'll be the final entry for 2008<br /><br />and i'll keep it short concerning the things in store for 2009<br /><br /><br />"oh you thought you wasnt gonna see me!?... Im the Osiris of this motherfucker!"<br /><br />Ol' dirty Bastard- "Triumph"- Wu Tang ClanAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-18617041037679220762008-12-22T20:53:00.000-08:002008-12-22T21:08:14.303-08:00episode 18: CreditsSugabear , Ms Malloy, the princess :Reenie<br />The butterfly,the soothesayer:Kat<br />The franchise player, Jay-z: deuce P<br />The mogul: dj fyrewall<br />the rebel: Dj Phlash<br />the Iron chef of New jersey: Sauce<br />Viv money: Viv money<br />The co-host: Dj mcLovin<br />the coolest f'n dog ever: Patton<br /><br />soundtrack by As-is , tuesdays from 7-9 on WEXP Lasalle Radio<br /><br />Love is you- chrissette michelle<br />Beautiful- joe jordan<br />anyone else but you- the moldy peaches<br />I gotta Know-nikka costa<br />If i were a boy- Beyonce<br />like i used to- john legend<br />Heartless-Kanye West<br />Something about us- daft punk<br />Jumper- third eye blind<br />Save Tonight-eagle eye cherry<br /><br /><br />2008~ <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">the Life ,romance, and Death</span> of Moe <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Jiggetts</span>Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-80576605953750785582008-12-22T20:33:00.000-08:002008-12-22T20:53:14.530-08:00episode 17: Same girl .. different name ... same breakup, same gamewhat is it with me and Moody,intelligent,emo theatre nerds? is it me or has every major Female companion roughly fit this bill.<br /><br />somewhere between 5'5 and 5'8<br />roughly 150 to 182 lbs<br />DD<br />some family dysfunction<br />considered off the beaten path<br />Headstrong persona<br />thinks that im cute, when I clearly dont agree<br />disagrees with my thoughts on their beauty<br />amused, enamored, and creeped out by my advances<br /><br />friends with my friends, as well as very inviting into their lives<br /><br />ok ok if i think about this anymore its gonna get real creepy. I loved them all Dearly, but every relationship burned out because i fucked up or they did some little shit that just spooked the fuck outta me. or the honest truth. they just got tired of me. but to be honest, i think that sharon was the only one to get the real me 100% of the time. serena got me in spurts because she was so demanding and so spiteful half the time.. just a plain old hater and i was so afraid to be real with her.. big mistake huh. liz... liz got so much of me its sad. uugh i shudder whenever i think about the bullshit i ran myself thru, the drama, the stress... the fact that this time last year i was trying to find a feasable way to build my life so that i could support a college Graduate and start a family. Teresa Marie, Zoe Denise, Aiden Xiomar.. i had my kids names picked out.<br /><br /><br />now for the rant... no.. wait... no rant...im sorry Katrina , i fucked that one up<br /><br />well kids i think thats it for 08, lets look back on the cast shall we?<br />Next episode: the creditsAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-51992310609051151592008-12-22T20:10:00.000-08:002008-12-22T20:32:54.953-08:00episode 16: my friends over youSo I think that it's funny. this is the first Christmas that I've spent alone since I've started dating. and i think that all my friends and even my younger brother are friends with sugabear and the butterfly ( yeah, i managed to piss her off too.. i'll rant about that in episode 17) and im not. I see why... its nothing against them its just that i dont take rejection as well from certain people. in sugabears case, Yeah I walked out on her but it was just like when i walked out on nancy. i left before they could leave me. Its not like i left her for someone .. okay its not like i left suga for the butterfly, but damn it did seem that way for a while... grimy huh? it gets worse. it seems that everywhere I turn , Her face is there and yeah.. i got rid of most of her pictures and a lot of the videos of our outings. I sold or burned anything i had that reminded me of her ( that i could bear to part with of course) . on to the next girl.. no not the knight, the soothesayer. she was Magic to me, my counsel, my rock, my stability in an increasingly unstable world. the black butterfly became the phoenix that gave me courage to rise from the darkness of my own surroundings only to shun me back to it. or rather I shunned her. she mentions one little hiccup, one little sign of stress and as usual i take it way to far in fear of my own heart and i told her to kick rocks. bad idea. Even though nothing really went on between us, i was so deeply connected to her that from the moment she cut me off i felt it. i felt the very air that i breathe thin out into nothingness. So i see the princess everywhere, i no longer have the soothesayer to comfort me, i cant fuck this up with the knight... Im so afraid that i will. Here i stumble, a king without a crown. without a kingdom.<br />so really.. what is there to fight for<br />I know i deserve some sort of punishment for my aloof ways, but really , my only crime is sheer luck. I was lucky that after every Devastating break-up, i managed to find someone else to fill that void. for nancy who i wrongly accused of infidelity ( my crime of choice) i found liz, for liz who outgrew my childish insecurity, i stumbled upon sharon, for sharon whom i feared being without, God gave me another chance in sere.... yeah... Her....i dont think i can do better than Serena. Im pretty sure that Katrina and i werent meant to be, and regardless of whatever blocks i put in my way and whatever she did to stop my advances... i was bound to screw that up. what does that say about this next girl. why am i on this path? Im consitently dealing with oh i'll put that on blast in episode 17Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-66184815050490424432008-12-02T01:23:00.000-08:002008-12-02T01:24:39.498-08:00episode 15: I bet you think this song is about you...<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bivattchee" title="Bivattchee">lets look at Ne-yo, Beyonce,and Jay-Z and Kanye West.<br /><br />4 of the biggest names of the last 4 years<br /><br />damn near every single they put out mirrored my life Part by Part by part<br /><br />Ne-yo= Every (main jawn) from the last 4 years... So sick,sexy love,closer.<br />Kanye West= Bittersweet, stronger, ( oddly enough, Love lock down, and heartless)<br /><br />Jay-Z= Roc boys<br /><br />Beyonce= upgrade u( i can admit it. i got upgraded), if i were a boy, single ladies, and that other song... cant recall the title at the moment<br /><br /><br />uugh.. im so vain, i probably think these songs are about me<br />dont I.<br /> dont I?<br />Dont I!<br /><br />"Joni mitchell never lied..."~ Q-tip<br /></a>Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-5741360437049031982008-11-09T12:38:00.000-08:002008-11-09T12:50:34.709-08:00episode 14: change,hope, and WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIPSso when i last posted up, I had to drop Sugabear. so here i stand, alone. No suga, no butterfly,and i dont know who my friends are anymore. but in a shocking twist of fate I found myself in the familiar embrace of a fighter... I say familliar because Im normally the fighter . it seems that ive found a kindred spirit but im not going to jump the gun on this one. she cant have a relationship right now but we're still friends and we connect. she makes me happy like sugabear used to .<br />enough about these girls.. Im almost done my coursework, and Im contemplating wether to go for a job on a cruise ship or to stick around here and go back to school again.. i dunno, Im definetly going to get rid of this bed, but if I gt the job on the cruise then im not gonna get a new bed cuz i wont be able to sleep in it for half a year!<br /><br />the phillies won the world series .. so fuck the mets... and the president looks like ME<br />those 2 events coupled with my amazing week/weekend with the fencer, made my life better and helped me to forget about sugabear ... I think ive finally managed to move on.<br />thats Change.. That's Hope,and it makes me feel like a WORLD F'N CHAMPION!Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-52318908364623816752008-10-29T08:14:00.000-07:002008-10-29T08:20:43.450-07:00episode 13: wow thirteen always has bad news huhim single... after months of arguing, weeks of trying to change , days of being the furthest from her when im right next to her,hours of crying, and moments in love.. it is over.. she's free to find herself without my needy clingy ass involved.. i tried to play the background but that wasnt enough.. so im gonna dip out of her life and let the next one have their shot.<br />she asked me the usual what if questions, and im open to taking her back.. but i know thats not going to happen, i know that a girl like that is never going to happen so frankly im round about done with women... these girls these days have lives, they dont want relationships, just a little action and something that resembles loyalty.. noone wants the real thing anymore its pointless.<br /><br />sugabear, if youre reading this.. find yourself, find yourself and smile because you cant help but smile. feel joy again, feel something again. and finally...<br />dont cry because its over<br />smile because it happened.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-34058500251550899982008-10-11T12:52:00.000-07:002008-10-11T12:55:06.306-07:00episode 12i had so much to write for this blog, what with the shows and working on salinas project and still trying to keep serena by my side throught it all. but all i can think about is how much i miss my sugabear. come back to me sugabear.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-66101971181981845352008-10-09T00:21:00.000-07:002008-10-09T00:48:23.362-07:00episode 11: Fail ( a note to myself from myself)So that blog I posted yesterday... totally backfired on me. it probably means curtains for my relationship with Her. Its a damn shame really. I always get lucky.. like ridiculously lucky, and i manage to mismanage it. so here i am again 2 weeks to the day saying to myself at 3am in the morning, i cant lose her, not like this not like this. the quick and dirty solution would be to just shut my mouth and not say a word to her about anything other than what pretains to her. but shutting her out of my life isnt the way. <span style="font-family: times new roman;">for pete's sake i didnt mean to give you the idea that i want another girl. i want you and she helped me to see that</span>. but alas the girl that im with now is intent on releasing me , setting me free, and leaving the door open for me to walk out like the jerk that i am.<br />and in truth she's the one who wants her freedom and rightfully so. today was a huge mistake a huge huge mistake and if i can make it out of this one alive then i swear i'll never talk to another female outside of my family and the woman im dating... thats not the right way to go because this whole argument started up because i was being anti social around women. sheesh i cant win. No i can win. I will win , because i dont lose.<br /><br />so heres the plan of action ladies and gents,<br /><br />step 1: hear her out<br /><br />*if she leaves me then proceed to step 6<br /><br />step 2: leave her to her work and her friends.. assuming she accepted me back into her life, she's going to need time to heal and besides things in her life are getting busy.<br /><br />Step 3: leave weekends open , sure she may not want to hang out with me but in order to make any kind of change a comprimise must be agreed, because she says she wants to spend time with me, but her schedule says otherwise.<br /><br />step 4: buy 1 dozen gerber dasies and this time include instructions on how to keep them alive<br /><br />step 5: get her something big for christmas ... by this time her birthday is already in the books... and she's a grown woman.. the kid shit and septa aint gonna work, hit up a few bars, take in a show or two, display some class and style, all the things you did to get her in the first place.<br /><br />STOP HERE>>>><br /><br />step 6: if you get to this step then im sorry, you failed and she left you for something more . at this point youve given up the backup girls a long time ago and you dont have any real friends to depend on. even though the source of all your strength has fled , carry on as usual... get the job, get the apartment, get the certification and maybe even a degree. be civil with her, but dont fool yourself into thinking she'll take you back because isnt that how you ruined the last 2 relationships worried about some girl who obviously dropped your scrawny ass by the waysi... but lets not reminisce lets move forward<br /><br /><br />i dont like step 6 and i know you dont moses... so for all that is pure and right in this world , i hope and pray that she forgives you, and you take a hard look at yourself... youve already anylyzed the other options. the other girls, the wild single life, you sat and thought long and hard about that and its not for you. be sure in your convictions and you will find solace. and above all, respect her and her decision.<br />because you love Serena, you do , that is Certain.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-62523557241244715222008-10-08T10:58:00.000-07:002008-10-29T08:14:45.691-07:00episode 11 beta: for gods sake woman lets just cuddle and eat ice creamwell i found a blog that i didn't post and i published it... it was honest and i had to get that shit off of my chest but as usual with me being honest... It backfired... offense was taken and well its safe to say that i was in this same position 2 weeks ago. damn and i was doing so good too . I cant lose her.. not like this. if I have to i wont talk to another female outside of my mother and my co-workers. not her friends not mine... because all my friends well the girls at least, are girls that i would definetly be with... with me there is no true "platonic" sense. I select my female friends based on what i would want in a mate, and as for the other ladies.. i just know them, sure they may be beautiful, intelligent, and all the sort, but they arent the girl that i would date so they dont get that attention.. thats what this is all about.. attention, I called one girl by an ornate name and the other by a mere title .. otherwise none of this would have happened and Id be eating Ice cream and bringing donuts to her tonite. you know what , fuck it... Im still going to bring her ice cream and donuts because i know she's having a tough time.<br /><br />im trippin yo... im trippin hard.. maybe i should just leave her alone till her birthday.. give her time to breathe. .. yeah i'll do that, I'll give her time to breathe... i just want to hear her heart beat.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-25465593846548020272008-10-08T08:18:00.000-07:002008-10-08T08:34:36.797-07:00Episode 10: the will to loveSo im in school at the audio institute, and im trying to get a job , tryin my ass off to get a job! im djing regularly at Tailgators in fishtown and I really think that serena and I have a chance at making it happen.. oddly enough thats all because of a black butterfly. see i met this girl and she completely blew me away. thing is ( thankfully) she managed to keep her head on straight. we did nothing and she reminded me that yes i have a girlfriend and that i love her... its strange.. that makes me sound like a dirty unfaithful cheat but really im above that behavior. the mrs and i have been on the rocks for a while and I guess in finding a friend i found an out but she ( the butterfly) is too good for me to just hop to. that girl .. no that woman deserves so much more. so im going to make an effort with serena and if it dosent work out then instead of just hopping to the next peice , Im going to chill and build. so it stands like this .<br /><br />thanks for everything gorgeous, and as much as i want you , need you , crave you...<br />I already have all that I'll ever need and want. i just have to put effort into it. Willpower i guess is what i lackAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-20572863383620753362008-09-22T09:00:00.000-07:002008-09-22T09:05:35.389-07:00Commercial time!!! : Remix Rangerz Blog!!Wow, a videogame soundtrack, New artists, and even a new page to post up mixes.... the RMXRNGRZ are goin places <br /><br />Sonicbids.com/RMXRNGRZ<br />SoundCoud.com/rmxrngrzAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-57767586977862105192008-09-06T02:18:00.000-07:002009-04-05T04:47:45.602-07:00episode 9: Nasty with the keys like i was fingering aliciaSo its been a wild ride, Ive got my sampler, I learned how to make some fresh live remixes, and i entered a rap battle at random, with a bunch of dudes that i dont know for a national prize and placed third... shit was banannas.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-10684772890895126082008-09-06T02:00:00.000-07:002009-04-05T04:46:00.730-07:00episode 8: davinci aint got shit on mei got an email from a friend today and reading it made me feel like a true scumbag.<br />see i had been arguing with oth my girlfriend and my ex all week... me and the mrs made up and me and the former mrs made up.. but the former... sharon... Hit me up with the bomb of all emails basically saying " youre sending me mixed messages and i dont deserve to be played like this" thing is i didnt see it that way. and i thought about it, especially with my ex girlfriends ( because im so comfy with them) im very forward, kind and sometimes flirtatious.. okay im way too flirtatious... last time i hung out with my ex i felt like i should have had her back and part of me didnt like that because im in a committed relationship.. i mean shit im engaged so technically no other woman on this planet should have what i need but her. no no no i am not going to take a break from serena to figure myself out i got it figured out. and i dont want to hurt sharon because while the relationship was wonderful we got off on the way wrong foot. she's a wonderful person and i want to be her friend . thats going to take some self control for me i have it. but i cant bear to hurt her either her.<br />i dont want to burden serena with more doubt about us<br />and i dont want to break sharon down with emotional stress<br /><br />im going to see this through and by the time the sun sets on this situation . I'll have serena . as for sharon and I hopefully we can still share a laugh and advice every so often<br /><br />and seriously.. maybe i should just not deal with women... they cant seem to handle me very well..Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39860227562379282.post-87542508876297619722008-08-10T14:17:00.000-07:002008-08-10T14:23:01.068-07:00episode 7: 22Upon realization of my 22nd birthday, I saw that i had officialy reached a solid decade in poetry and thus, songwriting. though ive lost most of that work, its okay. ive been 10 years doin it, and now i have to make something of it.<br />thanks to everyone who came out to the jam, it was worth it. yall made me happy and hopefully i returned the favor.Adminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09133072265613540068noreply@blogger.com0